Master of Time: Slave of Destiny
by jaqtkd
Summary: Arthur is dead and Merlin is convinced he's failed in his task. But the warlock is not ready to give up, quite convinced that he can change history. Convinced that this isn't the end. A reworking of my first fanfiction, 'The Stone of Time' incorporating all my thoughts and head-canons about the show and paving the way for my first reincarnation story. Complete. Book 2 coming soon.
1. Chapter 1

**The Master of Time Series**

A group of stories about Merlin's life after 5x13 and how he comes to fully understand his Destiny and 'The Once and Future King' prophecies.

BOOK ONE:

**Master of Time: Slave of Destiny**

Arthur is dead and Merlin is convinced he has failed in his task. But the warlock is not yet ready to give up, quite convinced that he can change history. Convinced that this is not the end.

_**A/N:** A reworking of my fist ever fanfiction, 'A Stone of Time' (Now deleted) which I was ridiculously proud of but which failed to make much of an impression. Originally written during Series 3 I touched on quite a few things that would eventually happen and have now developed it further with my numerous head-canons and previous stories in mind._

_So, for my regular readers, this chapter starts with a drabble from 'The Heart of Camelot', includes a quote from 'All Our Secrets' and will soon herald the promised return of Freo from 'An Easy Life', although I'm certain that you will still be able to follow this without having read them._

_Oh, and be prepared for time jumps. Quite a bit of this story is non-linear._

* * *

Chapter One

**Camelot Great Hall: Queen Guinevere's Coronation**

(A 275 word drabble)

Guinevere sits on her throne, regal but forlorn, wearing what Arthur called her 'business gown': Blood red velvet and off the shoulder.

"Long live the Queen."

Sir Leon's call is repeated by the Court and echoes around the Great Hall, although there is little joy in the sound. They all love and respect her but are still grieving for their king. As is she.

As the words die, Gwen looks to her right and gives a small, sad, encouraging smile, lifting her hand towards the figure lurking in the shadows, beckoning him forwards.

His eyes are still red and haunted, but he certainly looks better than he did when he turned up last night- his expression wary as he moves towards her, eyes darting nervously to the large crowd.

"Where has he been these last few days?" Leon whispers beside Gwen, but she just shakes her head and doesn't reply.

He is one of the most recognisable people in Camelot, still wearing his trademark neckerchief, despite his other smart clothes showing that he is no longer a servant. However, the carved white staff he carries gives a very specific, silent message to the court, even if it wasn't for the recent rumours that have been circulating about his part in the infamous battle of Camlann.

Guinevere says nothing as he walks forward, standing tall – proudly lifting his chin as he moves to the right hand side of his queen's throne. When Sir Leon steps away, whispers break out around the Hall as everyone realises exactly what is being implied here.

Queen Guinevere has reinstated Nimueh's role as court sorcerer and given it to Merlin.

~o~0~o~

**Camelot Great Hall: Shortly after Queen Guinevere's Coronation**

"Are you sure that was wise?" Leon asked the queen, his gaze nervously shifting to Merlin standing sadly to one side. "They've only just lost their king, is now really the time for such drastic measures?"

"I could have put it off and waited, it's true," Gwen replied calmly as she rose from her throne and walked forwards. "For a week, a month … perhaps a year? But when would the people of Camelot truly be ready to hear that magic was no longer outlawed? They now know exactly who Merlin is and what he did at Camlann." She glanced over at the sorcerer, standing over to one side and nervously looking at his boots, and smiled slightly. "They honestly trust him as much as they did Arthur."

"Perhaps." Leon turned back to look more closely at the young man, noticing the bags under his eyes and thinking that he had aged more than any of them in these last few, grief-filled days.

Inseparable. That was the one word that he would have associated with the two of them – Merlin and Arthur. And, in that way, more than any other, Leon could see how Gwen would now be able to connect more to Merlin than any of her new advisors. For those two understood the loss of their fellow soul-mate far more than any other here. And 'soul-mate' was definitely the appropriate name for the late king as far as that pair were concerned.

"Where _were_ you, Merlin?" Percival asked, moving hurriedly forwards. "Where have you been? We were all so worried."

He clasped a surprisingly gentle hand on Merlin's shoulder and the slimmer man smiled, a slight frown on his face as if surprised at such concern.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you it's just... there was something I had to do." His voice had become much deeper in the last couple of years but now it seemed even rougher – an indication of spent tears, perhaps?

"When did you get back?" Leon asked.

"Just last night." Merlin exchanged a glance with the queen. "Gwen and I had things to discuss."

"_Queen_ Guinevere," Geoffrey interrupted as he joined them from the back of the Hall where he'd been finalising the official documents.

"It's fine," Gwen replied. "Merlin is no longer a servant. I've formally given him the role of advisor that he's had unofficially for a few years now." She smiled nervously. "Plus his new title, obviously."

"Court Sorcerer." Geoffrey visible shuddered before turning to Merlin. "I just hope you have better luck than the last one," he said before bowing to the Queen and heading toward the exit.

"So, where _have_ you been these last couple of days?" Percival asked.

"Trying to put things right," Merlin replied simply.

"I don't understand."

Merlin sighed deeply. "It doesn't really matter – I just misunderstood, that's all. It's now time to look forwards, not backwards."

"What was it you misunderstood?" Gwen asked gently.

"The never-ending circle of his fate," the sorcerer replied cryptically. He turned his back and strode out of the Great Hall, unaware of the confused looks the others were giving him.

"Do you have _any_ idea what he's talking about?" Leon asked Gwen and the queen laughed lightly.

"Not a clue, but hopefully he'll tell me more later. He and I still have a lot to discuss."

~o~0~o~

**The Lake of Avalon: Three Days Earlier**

Merlin watched the little boat drift out onto the water through a haze of tears. He had failed. His life was effectively over. He could think of nothing but Arthur and could feel nothing but pain.

So, what now? He couldn't see how he could go back to Camelot now. Couldn't see how could he face them all after everything that had happened. But then again, how could he _not_ go back? Could he really abandon Gaius and Gwen and all his other friends there?

He probably _should _go back, but now did not seem like the right time to do so. He just felt he could not give in quite yet. Despite everything, despite having set Arthur's body adrift onto the lake, there was one part of him that felt that there was something more he could do, something more he _should_ do. It was quite some time before the answer came to him.

The Crystal Cave.

Merlin remembered all the power he had acquired when Morgana had trapped him there recently; all the knowledge and the control he had gained over the crystals. Surely, with all that power..?

Suddenly determined, Merlin retraced his steps and set off on the long walk back, stopping only once at the place where he and Arthur had encountered Morgana.

The place where he had killed her.

He buried the sorceress' body within a rough stone cairn within a small, wooded copse. Honouring her memory, despite the evil she had committed.

"I was going to leave you to the wolves just as you would have done with us," Merlin said sadly as he placed the last stone on top of the pile. "But, even after everything you did, I cannot. Perhaps in death you will find the peace you never knew in life. Perhaps, you were right about that next life."

He laughed then, unwilling to accept that idea, just as he was unwilling to take the chance about Arthur returning. Such things could not be possible, no matter what Kilgharrah had said. Once dead you were dead and all attempts at bringing someone back would result in the return of a shade or a ghost; Ygraine, Lancelot and Uther were proof enough of that. No, there was only one option left to Merlin now and that lay in the past not the future.

The answer to everything lay back in the heart of the Crystal Cave.

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** So, here we go again. :D As usual I'm fairly well ahead with this and should be able to keep up regular once or twice-a-week updates. Book One has ten chapters and explores Merlin's experiences in and around Camelot in the years after 5x13. Book 2 and 3 (and any others I plan) will move ahead to chart different re-incarnations of Arthur and the rest of the gang - something I haven't yet tackled and am very excited about trying._

_As I said at the top, this story is an excuse for me to put all my last series thoughts down in more details and also an opportunity to include my personal head-canons from various stories. __For a start, I never had any doubt that Merlin _was___ in Camelot during the Coronation scene. I know there's no evidence for it but, it was just something that jumped out as me at the time and I was keen to share that head-canon with you._

_This 'Book' will remain T rated but I am still assuming 'All Our Secrets' and 'An Easy Life' actually happened as well as a number of other characters and ideas I used in various drabbles and stories._

_As usual, I will keep detailed information up on my profile page and update it as often as possible with news, information and spoilers. Again, as usual, if you have any questions do feel free to ask and I will respond - even if my replies end up a little Kilgharrah-like._

_I hope you enjoy it,_

Jaq xxx


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**The Crystal Cave: One Day after Arthur's Death**

So much hurt, so much pain, and all for the sake of destiny and a little less than six years of Arthur's rule. At each and every threat he'd encountered, Merlin had been pushed into one decision or another simply to ensure the future happened as prophesied. Not that he had always blindly followed the instructions he'd been given: He'd openly rebelled against many of the Dragon's orders and gone against Gaius from time to time too and yet, whether he had willingly followed the path that had been laid out before him, or had stubbornly turned away from it, destiny continued to move forwards as if he had no choice in the matter at all.

But now he was back within _his_ centre of power.

_'This is where magic began.'_

Taliesin had explained that to Merlin the first time he'd been here, but this cave was far more than just a source – he understood that now. This was the birth place of magic and the centre of magic, but it was also, in so many ways, his very soul.

_'You are son of the earth, the sea, the sky.'_

Despite everything he already knew about this place, Merlin was quite aware that it would take him a life time of study to fully understand its nature but, for now, he was about to push the power he currently had to the very limit.

He and Gaius had often had discussions about the nature of time over the years and, in the past, the young man had simply nodded in response – not entirely convinced – but still accepting the old man's instructions about what was and what was not possible. But, honestly, how many times recently had Gaius told him that something could not be done, only for his charge to quickly prove him wrong?

"Sometimes I think that nature wrote a whole set of rules out especially for you, Merlin," Gaius had once said and the warlock smiled slightly at the memory. He could only hope that was truly the case.

During his first visit here, Merlin had been too young to cope with the great power this place held and the sensations had made him feel edgy and nervous, as if he'd eaten some of the stranger mushrooms Gaius had occasionally made him collect. It had been especially frustrating after the fact knowing that, even having seen the future, he was quite unable to do anything to prevent it.

In fact it had been worse than that. A darkness crossed Merlin's face as he recalled that time when he had seen Morgana's intention and worked to prevent the outcome. The real truth of those visions was that he'd been shown them deliberately so that he could ensure that they happened. How many times had he been manipulated by those who were aware of his power and thought they knew better than him? Right now, with the recent pain and grief still open sores, Merlin felt strangely powerless and totally used. Somewhere along the line, he had become a slave to Destiny herself, and that mistress was far crueller than Morgana had ever been.

Had he done something wrong? Had Arthur's part in all of this really only amounted to six years of kingship? Merlin walked into the heart of the cave and surveyed his domain, because that, he now realised, was exactly what it was.

He knew what he had to do. He had been developing the theory in his head for some time now, even with Gaius and Kilgharrah's warnings about meddling fresh in his mind. Since his last visit he realised that he had been right all along – that he _could_ master time itself. He hunted for a crystal – the right one, the best one – and held out his arm, concentrating hard whilst he traced the whole Morgana problem back in his mind, wondering about the moment, the _exact_ moment, when a decision of his had resulted in all the pain and grief.

A pair of bright blue eyes came to mind. Blue eyes, on a small face, covered by a green hood. Mordred. _What if...?_ In his mind the lad held up a clear crystal towards Merlin - the image flickering between the child and the man - and smiled, a crooked little smile that didn't quite reach his eyes – silently mocking him.

_"You wouldn't dare, Emrys. You are too much of a coward." _

~o~0~o~

It had been the first instruction he'd been given that Merlin had chosen to ignore, but how could he have followed through with such a request on so little evidence? The innocent youngster that he had been back then could not have done such a thing, but the man? Now for the sake of Arthur, he would do anything. Hadn't he already proven that in recent years?

Merlin focused on the crystal in front of him, images flashing before him at speed. Forward and back in time they went, but Merlin had learnt how to control them when he'd been trapped in here recently by Morgana, and so it was no problem to will the vision back ten years. No, that was the easy bit.

The next part though? That was definitely going to be a challenge.

The images slowed down and soon showed Merlin what he'd been looking for; the square of Camelot – practically unchanged, guards running around frantically and a young boy in a green cloak scurrying behind the well, one arm hugged to his body in pain. The view then panned back through a door and down a corridor with dizzying speed before stopping abruptly to reveal Merlin's younger self.

He stared at the exceptionally skinny young man with innocent blue eyes, and pale, slim face and smiled properly for the first time in days. Then, he took a deep breath and cast the spell.

A spell of his own invention, born of years of study and a year of tortured nightmares of Arthur's death. He called upon all the power of the Crystal Cave, shouting the words into the vast cavern and focused all that energy and desperation towards the crystal in front of him. It filled with light, burning brighter and brighter with a blue-white fire that became so intense that Merlin could hardly bear to look. It continued to flash so intensely that he was soon forced to close his eyes and turn away, blinking against the white flame that he could still see, even with his eyes closed.

Merlin blinked over and over, waiting for the flashes to die down and his vision to return to normal. When things finally came into focus, he was surprised to find himself in one of the palace corridors in Camelot. He took a step forward and stumbled as he felt overcome by dizziness and a strange lack of co-ordination. His body felt different – strange - and, as his vision returned fully, he lifted an arm to see a muddy, red coloured shirt underneath the usual brown jacket sleeve. He blinked.

_Wasn't I wearing a blue shirt today? _

He stared at the wrist poking out from beneath the shirt – so skinny that he could see the wrist bones sticking out – before running his fingers over his upper arm to discoverer that he could almost circle it within his hand and fingered his bare neck to note the rare absence of a neckerchief.

Then he heard it. A small scared voice inside his head.

_"Help."_

Merlin started to shake as he realised what had happened. He had thought to simply connect with his younger self, to communicate on some level and influence the young man's decision, but this? To actually, physically travel back in time? Gaius would definitely not believe this trick.

But there seemed to be no doubt. This appeared to be the year he'd arrived in Camelot and the day he'd first met Mordred. Would he really be able to correct his mistake?

The boy's cries were becoming louder and more desperate and, even now, it wasn't easy to ignore them. But it was the thought of his future that kept Merlin going. Mordred would be captured and Morgana would never meet him. She would still be upset with Uther for killing such a young child but, if she didn't know him, then perhaps she wouldn't develop so much hatred early on; a hatred that would ultimately turn her against everyone she had once loved. Not only that but, with Mordred out of the picture, it was likely that Arthur would not have to die an untimely death.

He changed direction and made his way back through the corridors, smiling at the subtle differences he could see in his beautiful home and had just started to relax when he heard a familiar, imposing voice addressing him. He reeled at the strength of the emotions that that amazing sound evoked.

"Merlin! Where in the world do you think you're going?"

"Arthur!" He grinned broadly on seeing his good friend alive and looking so young and carefree, but the smile quickly faded as he saw the stern look he was receiving. Then he remembered _when_ this was – almost ten years ago – the prince hardly knew him at all yet. He dropped his head. "S-sorry, Sire I just... Gaius asked me to..." He desperately tried to think of an excuse.

"And his orders countermand mine?"

"Ah no, Sire, of course not, ah..." Merlin racked his brain. Ten years ago! Where _had_ he been going? "Ah, what was it you wanted me to do again?" He looked up at Arthur and tried not to laugh at the look the young Prince had on his face. How often had he seen that exact, disbelieving expression directed at him over the years?

"You really are a complete idiot, aren't you, Merlin?"

He grinned at the prince sheepishly, still not able to believe his luck to be standing here and talking to his friend again. However, any further conversation was prevented by the appearance of a knight who hurried over to Arthur, his eyes wide with some urgent news.

"Sire, we've found the Druid's accomplice."

"Good. I'll inform Father." The knight hesitated. "Well?" Arthur asked impatiently when the man made no attempt to move.

"He's just a boy, Sire and badly injured and so I thought..."

"Boy?"

"Perhaps eight or nine?"

"Injured you said...?"

Merlin smiled, despite himself. Arthur had appeared so arrogant back then, but now he knew him so well, it was obvious that much of that had always been an act, just as he'd suspected.

"A sword wound, he doesn't look good," the knight replied.

The young prince nodded, obviously distracted and deep in thought. "Father would certainly prefer it if his prisoner was conscious when he deals out his punishment. Take him to Gaius then and we'll see what the old man can do."

Suddenly, Merlin wished Arthur had been as ruthless as he had always liked to pretend. If Mordred was seen by Gaius then it was likely he would be cured but, would that really matter in the long run? Uther would still be informed of the boy's capture and the king would certainly not be as compassionate as his son or daughter.

By now Arthur and the knight had left and so, not wanting to face Mordred, Merlin made his way towards Morgana's chambers, a sudden idea occurring to him. What if he took this opportunity to really talk to her, whilst simultaneously ensuring she was kept away from Mordred?

He almost bumped into the lady as he rounded a corner and felt a strange jolt as he observed her beautiful face; so calm and innocent – such a contrast to how he'd seen her recently. After the lady's initial shock she smiled at him. _Really_ smiled. How many times had Merlin longed to have her look at him in that way once more.

Despite her smile, however, he was shocked at how pale she appeared to him, how scared. "My lady, are you well?"

"I... Y-yes, of course." The smile was more forced now and Merlin knew her well enough to see the fear in her eyes.

"What is it?" He caught her eye and smiled gently at her. It was a bit presumptuous for such a lowly servant but, by now, they would have been working together, hiding Mordred in her chambers and he remembered the affectionate looks she gave him then, despite her high status.

"I heard a voice in..." She paused, looking suddenly nervous.

"A voice?" he asked kindly. Apparently she'd heard Mordred's silent call too.

"I just felt that I had to-"

"There's no need to be afraid, Morgana, everything will be fine."

She stared at him and shook her head; her eyes wide and her skin pale. "W-what do you mean?"

"You are surrounded by people who care about you, Morgana, never forget that. If you need to talk about... anything, I'll be happy to listen. I'm very good at keeping secrets, you know?"

She gave him a weak smile, still obviously distracted, and headed off down the corridor in the direction she'd originally been walking without another word. Merlin quickly guessed where she was heading and panicked.

"Ah, where are you going?" he asked as he loped after her.

"Haven't you got any work to do?"

"Loads, but I was going this way anyway."

"Well yes, I suppose you would be."

So she _was _going to Gaius' chambers, but how could he stop her? The whole point of this was to ensure that she and Mordred _did not meet_.

"Merlin? Weren't you going to see about my armour?" Arthur rounded the corner as they approached the corridor to the physician's room. "What are you doing here, Morgana?"

"I've come to see Gaius," she replied haughtily. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Can't it wait? He's a little busy right now."

"No, it _can't_ wait," she retorted as Arthur opened the door and dragged Merlin in by the sleeve after him. Mordred was already there, sitting on a bench whilst Gaius cleaned the wound on his arm. The physician looked up at the three as they entered.

"Merlin, where have you been?" The young man blinked at him, surprised to see his mentor looking so much younger.

"Ah sorry, Gaius, I was just-"

A gasp from Morgana interrupted his attempt to find another excuse.

"Who is he?" she asked breathlessly, as the boy turned his head towards her. The lady's eyes widened and her face broke into the most beautiful smile Merlin had ever seen from her and a chill simultaneously ran down his spine. Then that same bright blue gaze fell upon him.

_"Hello, Emrys." _The chill became a sudden frost.

"A Druid boy," Arthur replied to Morgana's question. "The man he was with is in the dungeons. I expect Father will want this one to join him." His voice was flat and emotionless – Arthur obviously did not approve. Morgana's reaction was no surprise to Merlin either.

"But, he's just a boy. He can't be put in prison."

"I suspect he has rather more than imprisonment on his mind," the prince replied, pulling a face.

"No! He wouldn't? Not even Uther could be that cruel." She looked around at Gaius, then Arthur, then Merlin, her eyes pleading. "We can't let this happen."

Merlin shook his head in frustration. She had always got her own way for so long and he had fallen for that pleading look often enough himself.

"Morgana..." Arthur was looking nervous, but nowhere near as nervous as Merlin was beginning to feel.

"The king already knows he's here though?" asked Gaius.

"I-I was going to tell him but then..." Arthur looked embarrassed. "Then I decided to come and check on the boy first."

"No!" Merlin couldn't help the word from escaping. He could see where this was heading.

"Merlin's right," said Morgana, misunderstanding his exclamation. "Uther does not need to know. You can say the boy escaped and we'll smuggle him out of Camelot once the fuss has died down."

"That is a very dangerous suggestion," said Gaius nervously.

"But that knight, and the others who found him," said Merlin desperately. "They know he's here."

"The knights answer to Arthur," Morgana said confidently. "They'll not say anything to Uther."

And Merlin knew she was correct – the knights' loyalty to their prince had often outweighed their duty to their king, even in these early days.

He now knew what would happen. Morgana and Arthur – with or without the help of his younger self – would take Mordred back to his people, just as they had before. Once again Merlin had tried to change events, only to have them stubbornly fall back onto their original path.

He would not accept this – he _could_ not. He was the most powerful sorcerer that had ever lived and had just discovered how to travel back in time. Surely he must be able to find some way to beat Destiny?

He just needed to find another event. Something more recent. Something that would have a far greater chance of success.

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** So, this chapter is basically a re-working of my first ever fanfiction "The Stone of Time" and so this might seem slightly familiar those of my readers that have been around for some time, and to those who have been following my drabble series (because I used this Mordred idea for a Drabble Challenge too). _

_I was pleased with that story in 2010 but it didn't get much attention perhaps because I was new to the fandom, perhaps because of my relatively poor writing skills, or perhaps because it seemed too depressing to be talking of Arthur's death during S3. Now, of course, it's all highly relevant and is the basis for this whole fanfiction. _

_**Time note:** This story will alternate between The Crystal Cave before Merlin goes back, and Camelot before and after Gwen's coronation._

_5/10/13_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

**Camelot: The night before Gwen's Coronation**

Gwen sat on the edge of her bed as she took the sleeping draught Gaius had prepared for her, although she did not hold out much hope that it would work. Sleep had been lost to her at the same time as her husband.

Two days ago, Gaius had informed the queen of her husband's death – presenting her with Merlin's letter which had somehow managed to arrive in the physician's chambers without the author.

Gwen wondered why she had not been more surprised about this recent revelation about her good friend. Even though, in hindsight, the fact Merlin was a sorcerer all made so much sense. Was he now lost to her too? She was fairly confident she could get through tomorrow without sleep, but was not so certain she could do so without her old friend.

A timid knock on the door made her jump, despite the low volume. Her maid had gone home some time ago and the guards would usually call out if there was a problem. After a moment's pause, the queen got up and walked cautiously towards the door.

"Who is it?"

The mumbled reply was barely audible. "It's Merlin."

"Merlin!" Gwen flung open the door, grabbed a tatty, brown sleeve and dragged the man into the room, half afraid from the look in his eyes that he would bolt at any moment. "Where have you been? You … you … prat!" She let go of his arm and thumped it instead. To her surprise Merlin simply winced and hung his head, tears filling his eyes.

"Gwen, I'm... sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know you can never forgive me."

"What? What are you talking about? I was just worried, that's all. It been three days and no sign of you, but that's hardly important now."

"I failed. I failed Arthur and Camelot and you." His voice broke and tears filled his eyes. "He's dead and it's my fault and I wouldn't blame you for hating me."

She took one look at his heartbroken expression and sighed. "Oh, you idiot, come here..." She pulled at his sleeve again, noting a brief look of surprise cross his face before she hugged him close to her. "It is _not_ your fault, do you hear me? Don't you _ever_ say that."

"But..."

"I saw what you did out there, Merlin. I saw how you saved Camelot."

"Yes, but if I could have..."

"Ifs and buts will not change what happened. Do you honestly imagine that I've not been thinking similar things these last few days? Thinking that I should have tried harder to suggest a different approach, thinking that I shouldn't have trusted Mordred as much as I did, that I should have recognised just how unhappy Morgana was all those years ago."

"But what was the point of it, Gwen? What was the point of having all that power if I couldn't save him?"

"And how many times _did _you save his life?" She pulled back, lifting a hand up to his cheek to stroke away a tear that was shimmering on his cheek. The smallest smile tugged at his lips at the question. "We all know about the first time of course, but ask yourself this; would he have even become king in if you hadn't been around?"

"Ah... probably not."

"Would I have become queen?"

Merlin shook his head firmly. "No."

"So, as I said, you saved Arthur all those times in order to save Camelot."

"I thought … I thought you would blame me. I thought you would hate me for being with him at the end and not being able to save him."

"And I thought you knew me better than that!" she replied, a little more harshly than she'd intended.

He looked at her properly then and she saw a hint of the boy she used to know; pale, confused and lost. "I'm sorry..." His voice was a whisper. "You always were the strong one."

"I don't feel it right now."

"No..."

There was a long silence which Gwen eventually broke with a sob of her own. "Oh, Merlin, what are we going to do without him?"

She allowed her own tears to fall at long last, and this time it was Merlin who pulled _her _into a hug. Gwen felt him shake against her as they both held each other tight, seeking comfort from the only person who could come close to understanding what the other was feeling.

~o~0~o~

The pair talked for ages that night, sitting on the edge of her bed, holding hands, laughing and crying over past stories of their lives with Arthur. At some point exhaustion had taken over and they had both fallen asleep; waking up some hours later to find themselves lying on the bed, held close within the other's comforting embrace.

"Ah, sorry... sorry." Merlin sat up and scrambled to the far side of the bed, his eyes wide as he realised where he was and who he was with.

"Don't be," Gwen replied with a yawn. "First time I've slept since…"

"Yes, me too," Merlin admitted. "Well, apart from the time I spent unconscious, anyway."

"What?"

He winced. "Ah … never mind."

She shook her head, smiling fondly. "Well, it's nearly dawn so you really should go and see Gaius," she said. "He's been more worried than anyone."

"Oh, I already saw him. I went there first before I came to here. Talked to him for a while about… things."

"Well, that's good." She looked over at her friend cowering on the edge and shook her head again. "Come back over here, Merlin. We've a little while longer before Hannah comes in and having you close seems to keep me calm, which I'm really going to need today."

"Today?"

"My coronation."

"Oh..."

"Yes, exactly."

"Gwen, what are you going to do about me?" Merlin asked as he lay back down on the bed.

"Sometimes I wonder," she teased as she moved back to lay her head on his chest. He placed one hand on her back, stroked her hair with the other and Gwen's eyes instantly started to feel heavy again.

"You know what I mean," he said. "Magic is still outlawed and I'm a sorcerer."

"Who single handedly won the battle of Camlann and defeated Camelot's greatest enemy."

"It was nowhere as heroic as you somehow make it sound."

"They are the facts though. Morgana is dead, the Saxons have retreated and, thanks to Arthur, we have strong alliances with every one of our immediate neighbours. We have true peace in Camelot now and that _is_ all thanks to you."

"But the law..."

"...can be changed. Arthur was thinking about it reviewing it anyway."

"What?" Merlin lifted his head suddenly, his expression half way between shock and hurt. "He didn't tell me that."

"No." Gwen smiled slightly. "For some reason he was under the impression that you were against magic."

"Oh … that..." Merlin pulled a face before settling back down on the pillow. "It's a long story."

"I look forward to hearing it sometime," she replied. "But, the fact of the matter is, that with the exception of Morgana and the sorcerers that she befriended, there have been few problems with magic here in recent years and now I believe that your rather impressive display at Camlann should give me enough leverage to push the change through fairly easily."

"I love your confidence, Gwen, although I admit that-"

A quiet sound at the door had Merlin sit up again, and this time Gwen joined him, sudden panic overcoming her.

"Oh no, I forgot the time. Whatever will Hannah think?" She moved forward quickly, hoping to intercept her maid before she noticed that there was a man sleeping in the recently widowed queen's bed. How would she explain this one away? There was absolutely nowhere for him to hide.

"Oh, you were in bed, Your Highness," the girl said as she entered. "Did you managed to sleep?"

"Ah yes, but..."

Hannah had been in view of the bed from almost the second she entered the room and her eyes were already focused on it, a frown on her face.

"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Oh, he's back." The girl's face broke into a huge smile and Gwen's open mouth snapped shut, confused at the enthusiastic reaction. As the maid moved hurriedly towards the bed, Gwen turned around, only to see a small, black cat sitting up and blinking his bright, orange eyes at them.

"I don't understand," the queen muttered as Hannah started to fuss the animal.

"But you thought he had moved on, didn't you?" her maid said. "Such a beautiful boy." The cat begun to purr and Gwen's confusion disappeared as realisation belatedly dawned. She folded her arms and glared at the animal rolling on his back and happily allowing Hannah to tickle his tummy.

"Yes, he was out chasing the lady cats no doubt," the queen said, her voice steely. "In fact, I'm thinking of having Gaius castrate him so we don't have any further problems on that score." The cat stopped his rolling instantly and fixed her with a long, hard stare. Gwen laughed despite herself. "I think I could manage some breakfast this morning, Hannah," she continued. "Be a dear and get me a tray would you."

"Yes, your Highness, it'll be my pleasure." Hannah looked like she'd just been granted a whole month's holiday – the queen had refused almost everything she'd been offered these last couple of days. "I'll bring up some fish for Freo too, shall I?"

"Oh, please don't go to any trouble on _his_ account."

As Hannah left, Gwen caught Merlin's gaze, her arms still folded, and the cat's ears fell flat, looking as if he was worried about being hit. He started to move towards the edge of the bed, getting ready to jump down.

"Not so fast, 'Freo'. You and I need to talk about this." He landed gracefully on the floor and continued to slink past, obviously trying to ignore her. "Merlin!" The cat stopped at the door and turned around slowly and sheepishly, his eyes wide and his expression even more pathetic-looking than when he was in human form. "I expect to see you at the coronation later. And I mean you! Not … that. Do you understand?"

The black cat moved back towards her and elegantly wove around her ankles, rubbing himself against her as he did so, which Gwen took as a sign of compliance.

"I'm going to hold you to that." The cat started to move away from her again. "Oh, and Merlin? I expect you to be appropriately dressed for such an occasion. I have some new clothes all ready for you."

"Meow!" His ears went flat again.

"Don't be such a baby, I can't have my Court Sorcerer looking like a peasant."

"Mow ma-e-ow?" She marvelled at how his shock and surprise at that announcement seemed perfectly obvious, even in his current form.

"Oh, and bring that staff you were waving around at Camlann too. If we're going to do this, we might as well do it properly."

~o~0~o~

* * *

**_A/N: _**_The return of Freo, as promised! :D If anyone doesn't recognise him you might like to read my three chapter story, "An Easy Life" and find out a bit more._

_Next chapter we're going back in time by a couple of days, and back to the Crystal Cave._

_I'm still not getting FF email alerts (Yes, I have checked all my settings) and I'm not sure if that's just me. Anyway, I have been keeping an eye on things onsite and so want to thank you for your early reviews and alerts. xxx_

_11/10/13_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

**The Crystal Cave: One day after Arthur's death**

So, that little journey to the past hadn't worked. Ignoring Mordred in the square had ultimately made little difference in the long run, despite what Kilgharrah had originally implied. Merlin had checked the crystals just as soon as his consciousness had returned to the cave and was quickly able to confirm his worse fears. The future remained unchanged.

Arthur was still dead.

He shook his head in frustration. It just _had_ to be possible. All the hundreds of decisions people made every moment of every day would surely caused some difference in the end.

Perhaps the problem had been going so far back in time. If this was a prophecy, with destiny apparently desperate to have Arthur die, then ten years was probably long enough for things to be put back on track. So, what if Merlin now focused on something more recent? Something that had only just happened which would mean that there was little chance for a things to be forced back.

What about his recent loss of magic? That event had been a critical event, he was certain, as it had delayed his arrival at the battlefield and prevented him from focusing all his attention on Arthur. If Merlin could ensure that he didn't loose his magic to the Gean Canach then he would be able to stay with the king the whole time, ensure that there was no possibility that Mordred could get close to him with that sword.

So Merlin held out a hand toward the large crystal he had decided was the strongest within the cave and, once again the visions moved quickly backward and forwards, although this time he could reach the event he was looking for far more quickly – soon finding an image of himself weaving his way back from the tavern with Arthur and Percival by his side, quite obviously drunk on mead and high from his success at dice. This time, however, Merlin would make certain that he was not caught off-guard when he arrived back home.

He cast the spell into the crystal and waited for the light to fade and his vision to clear.

~o~0~o~

"Whoa there, Merlin, I didn't think you were _that_ drunk." Percival was by his side and hauling him to his feet within moments.

"I, ah … No, I'm fine. I just tripped over," he said, trying to regain his balance. He may only be _visiting_ this slightly younger body, but apparently he was still being affected by the alcohol. He grumbled at the inconvenience which would almost certainly make his job here more difficult.

"Well, don't think for a moment I'm going to let you sleep late tomorrow," Arthur said and, Merlin again jumped at the sound of the king's voice. Despite having already experienced time travel, it seemed it was far harder to get used to the emotional disorientation than to the physical one, and this time around he felt even more delighted to see his friend alive and well. He grinned at Arthur broadly.

"What? What's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?" the king asked, suspiciously.

"What? Nothing … I'm not looking like you like … anything." He really did need to get a grip of himself. He was sure he didn't remember being this drunk when this had all happened before.

"I admit I was impressed by your luck tonight though, Merlin," Percival continued. "All these hidden talents you seem to be showing recently; gambling, juggling..."

"...drinking," Arthur finished. "Although seeing how much time you spend in the tavern, I'm surprised you're not better at coping with the alcohol." Merlin attempted to fix Arthur with a glare but lost his footing and stumbled again. Apparently the disorientation of the time travel combined with the drink was not a good mix. "As I said," the king commented with a laugh at his friend's clumsiness. Still high on the drink and being by Arthur's side again, Merlin joined in wholeheartedly.

They were back in the castle now and about to reach the point where they would part company. Merlin found himself strangely reluctant to leave Arthur, even though he knew that worry didn't make any sense. He would soon be entering Gaius' chambers knowing what to expect and with the spell needed to destroy the Gean Canach on the tip of his tongue. He also knew that his mentor would not be seriously injured and so all he had to do was avoid that creature, kill it and, that accomplished, he would then see Arthur tomorrow, and the next day, and would just have to ensure that he stayed close to him from then on – _very_ close. Merlin now had access to so much more power than he had before that it surly wouldn't be a problem to keep his king safe this time around.

He paused then as a sudden fear struck him. A horrible feeling that he'd forgotten something very important. What was it? He really hadn't been _that_ drunk before – certainly not enough to have actually forgotten some incident or other that had occured that evening. He was quite certain he had simply headed for his room and hadn't seen or done anything else.

Merlin pushed the nagging thought to one side, knowing that he could not afford any distractions considering his current state and entered the main chambers before heading confidently towards the door of his own, small room. He held out one hand, created a light in the other and pushed out all his senses, bracing himself for the inevitable attack.

Then he saw a blur heading towards him and his eyes flashed as he cast the deadly spell in its direction.

Then everything went black.

~o~0~o~

"W-where am I?" Merlin awoke slowly, his head stinging from a cut on his head and unable to remember a thing. He opened his eyes to find himself in a dark cave, a sheer wall of fallen rocks facing him. "What happened?" he asked.

He tried to find some memory but, nothing came, no matter how hard he tried. Except one.

Arthur was dead.

He knew that for certain even though he could not remember specifics. How had Arthur died? By what means? Merlin's last memory was of walking home from the tavern after a dice game but then …?

As he looked up he saw a small blue glow of light high up on the rock fall. The Crystal Cave by the look of it, but he really couldn't remember how he'd got here. Slowly and surely Merlin climbed up towards the light and, on reaching the top, found himself in the cave proper, beautiful blue crystals glowing all around him. He was safe now, he decided, even though he was feeling weaker and weaker by the moment. Giving in to the disorientation and dizziness, Merlin sunk back to the floor and happily let darkness overcome him once more.

"Merlin."

He opened his eyes and blinked in disbelief at who was standing before him. "Father."

"My son."

"Are you here? Are you real?" he asked.

"Dead or alive? Real or imagined? Past or present? These things are of no consequence. All that matters is that you heed the word of your father who loves you. Do not let go, Merlin, do not give in."

"I don't remember what happened. I don't know how I got here. I only know that Arthur is dead and that means I have no reason to go on. The battle is already over."

"Only if you accept defeat. You can regain your memory but only if you fight, if you let hope into your heart."

"But, what happened?

"You sought to change the past and that is something that cannot be done."

"I-I don't remember..."

"You wield a power you yet cannot conceive of, but that power should not be abused. By attempting to change the past you prevented yourself from discovering that power. For only in the heart of the Crystal Cave can your true self be revealed."

Balinor looked over to one side and Merlin followed the gaze. He remembered being here before, years ago and yet this now felt safe in a way that it had never had back then. A hint of a more recent memory returned, but also a strange fear – a sense of nervousness about what was to come.

"Move towards the light. Your destiny awaits … again." Balinor smiled. "Do not be afraid. Trust in what you are, trust in what will be."

Merlin nodded. He didn't fully understand, but he did know that he could trust Balinor, that the answers to his lost memory were in front of him and that moving forward was the only way to put things right.

"Goodbye, Father."

"There are no goodbyes, Emrys, for I will always be. As you will always be." Merlin climbed up a step and started to walk confidently towards the light. "Trust in the future, my son... Do not fight the past."

Balinor's voice faded as Merlin walked forward and the light gradually increased in brightness until it was almost overwhelming. When his vision returned, he found himself back where he'd started, standing over a large crystal and trying to work out what had happened.

Then the memories came crashing back, forcing him to his knees, although it took a while before he could make any real sense of them.

"I forgot," he mumbled. "In my haste to change the past, I forgot that the power I was using to time travel had been gained within this cave. If I hadn't lost my magic I would have had no reason to come here and discover it. And so, how could that time-line exist? I would have certainly been unable to beat the Saxons with my old level of power."

He shook his head, realising that he was just confusing himself, but it wasn't long before he started to recall Balinor's second speech. His father's comments had been slightly different to the ones he remembered from the first time he was here – warning Merlin against tampering with time, asking him to trust in the future. Merlin shook his head again, not wanting to believe it. He would _not_ be convinced about that and knew he would want to try again but, the next time, he would be certain not make such a careless mistake again.

Next time he would think hard about all the possible outcomes and ensure that changing the past would not cause another time paradox.

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:**_ _Making good progress with this ten chapter story and so should be able to continue these twice weekly updates. I have also started research for the next part of this saga, 'Master of Time: Advisor of Kings'. For more information see my PP._

_13/10/13_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**Camelot: The evening before Gwen's Coronation**

Merlin sneaked back into Camelot just before dark, using the secret passageway to the armoury to ensure that he did not encounter anyone unexpectedly. Deep down he had never doubted he would return here if his mission failed but, in some ways, it still seemed too soon and he now felt even more grief stricken – knowing there was definitely no way back.

He headed to Gaius' chambers hoping that he wouldn't encounter anyone, still trying to convince himself that coming back here had been the right thing to do. Despite everything he had discovered in the Cave, despite _all_ the reassurances he'd been given, part of him still wanted to keep to himself for a little bit longer.

"Gaius?" he asked as he cautiously pushed open the door.

"Merlin!" the old man exclaimed, standing quickly from his bench. "Oh, thank the gods. I feared you might never return home."

"Yes, me too." He looked closely at his mentor, briefly confused as he recalled the various younger versions he'd encountered in his recent visions. "But, I couldn't leave you." He moved closer. "How are you?"

"How are any of us after this last terrible week? Where have you been?"

"The Crystal Cave."

Gaius looked at him, shocked. "You went back there?"

"Yes, I needed to … check something." He winced.

Gaius fixed him with a hard, suspicious stare. "Merlin. What did you do?"

"Nothing, as it turned out. I tried to change the past."

"But, that's not possible."

Merlin smiled slightly. "Apparently not, although I did manage to discover time travel in the process."

"Merlin, do be serious."

"I'm not joking." Gaius gave him a long, hard stare and he smiled weakly back. "I have genuine power over the crystals now. I can see past and future visions easily without them hurting or confusing me. The power of time is truly mine it seems, although, apparently, not the power over Destiny."

"Well, you should have learnt _that_ lesson from the previous time you attempted to second-guess those crystal visions."

"Yes, I know but... I had to try, Gaius. I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't."

"I understand. And now?"

Merlin paused for a long time, considering all the clues and advice he'd been given whilst he had been in the cave. "The Once and Future King," he mumbled, almost to himself.

"Yes?" Gaius pushed. "I have heard that phrase in connection with Arthur before."

"Yes, so have I - several times – and the implication is that he will return but, how? We know from past experience that you cannot bring someone back once they're dead. Not their true self, anyway. So, what does Kilgharrah mean when he said that Arthur would rise again when Albion's need was greatest?"

"Something for you to work out, I suppose. You'll stay here now?"

"The Never Ending Circle of his Fate," Merlin continued, not answering the old man's question. "For he will always appear when the country has need of him and you will always be there to guide him."

Gaius frowned. "Who said that?"

"Taliesin," Merlin answered absent-mindedly.

"What? I don't understand."

Merlin shook his head again. "So, if he cannot come back in the same body, does he come back in another? Is that even possible?"

"Well, I have heard of such a concept – read it somewhere," the physician replied. "It is a basis for some of the far eastern religions, I believe. The idea that the soul can be reborn time after time in a new body."

"That really makes no sense though," Merlin complained. "How would that be possible?"

"Well, yes. I can't say that I've ever believed in re-incarnation either," Gaius said, "but, I do have books on the subject, if you want to read more about it."

"Well, I suppose I better had," Merlin replied with a big yawn. "But definitely not tonight – there's no way I could concentrate." He moved over to the table, and helped himself to a piece of bread, suddenly realising how long it was since he'd last eaten anything.

"You avoided my question, before," Gaius continued as the young man started to eat. "What are you going to do now?"

"That rather depends on Gwen, I imagine," he mumbled between mouthfuls. "I gather she knows all about me now?"

"Everyone does, Merlin. The story of what you did at Camlann is all over Camelot now."

He winced. "Great! Well, I don't _think_ I was seen when I came back in earlier and I doubt the queen or council will order my execution or anything but, if Gwen is going to banish me, I suppose I'll just have to smuggle out a bunch of books and go back to Ealdor to study all of this."

"She did take the news remarkably well," Gaius said. "Perhaps she'll ask you to stay."

"I can't think why she'd want me around. Not after..." He hung his head, blinking back tears.

Gaius gave him a sympathetic look. "You did what you could, Merlin. Perhaps, as you said, there's some greater plan at work here."

"I keep getting told that, Gaius," he snapped, "but what comfort is that? How is 'this' my destiny?"

"I don't know, my boy. I'm sorry."

He blinked back tears. "No, Gaius, _I'm_ sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you." He sighed before frowning slightly. "There was something else though."

"What?"

"Something about a stone circle."

"What do you mean, Merlin? Was this something you saw in a vision?"

"Not exactly. It's just that..." He frowned, trying to work how to explain it all. "It's a long story, I'm afraid."

"Why don't you sit down and start from the beginning?" the old man suggested. "Tell me everything that happened to you in the Cave and then perhaps we can work it all out together."

Merlin shook his head, not really keen to relive the whole experience of the last few days quite yet. "Perhaps later. Right now I think I should go and see Gwen."

"At this time of night?"

He shrugged. "Might as well get it over and done with."

"Yes but, Merlin, is that entirely appropriate, do you think?"

"What?" Merlin stared at Gaius for quite a while before he realised what the old man was implying. "Don't be daft. Gwen and are just friends."

"Yes, Merlin, _I_ know that, but I wouldn't recommend letting anyone else see you in the Queen's bed-chambers after dark. She's going to have a hard enough job now as it is, without having to deal with vicious palace gossip too. And you know what some of the servants are like in that regard."

"Only too well," Merlin replied with a small smile. "Fine, I'll be careful. I can always turn into Freo if need be."

"The cat?"

Merlin shrugged "Why not? No-one knew it was me. Not even Gwen, and with all this extra power, I expect it'll be pretty easy for me to switch back and forth between forms now."

"Perhaps, but you know how reluctant you were to change back the last time and, considering your current emotions, it's likely to be even harder for you this time around. Perhaps it would be better if you waited until day time before visiting Gwen?"

"No, I really would rather go and see her now – I wouldn't sleep anyway, not knowing what my fate is to be. Anyway, as you said, the fewer people that see me out and about, the better. At least, at this time of night, the palace will be nice and quiet."

"Well, if you're certain."

"Yes. I think it's best." He started to make his way out of the room.

"Oh, and, Merlin..." Gaius called out.

"Yes?"

The physician smiled broadly. "It really is good to have you home."

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** Hope you're following all this non-linear stuff. It's not something I usually do but I felt this fic needed it in order to keep the interest. Writing it in the 'proper' order wouldn't have worked so well, I don't think._

_So now you can read about this meeting that Merlin mentioned to Gwen a couple of chapters back, and you're also getting a few clues about other things that happened in the cave that you'll find out more about soon._

_Work on this has been going very well and I'm already in the early stages of planning the next part 'Master of Time: Advisor of Kings'. See my PP for more details._

_16/10/13_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**The Crystal Cave: A Day after Arthur's Death**

Merlin was determined not to give up quite yet, despite Balinor's warning. He had another idea of how he could make a difference to this time line and it all centred around one person.

Morgana.

He still had such mixed feelings about her, but then, he always had. Such confused emotions about the women who had become his enemy - the one he'd once believed himself in love with. She had been his good friend at the start but, despite everything she'd done in recent years, Merlin could not help but feel guilty and responsible for what she had ultimately become.

So many options played out in his head. The Crystal Cave incident was one possibility, but there had been more than enough paradoxes the first time around and Merlin was quite certain he wouldn't be able to negotiate them all for a second. Then there was the time he had poisoned her...

Merlin lowered the hand that had started to hover over the crystal in order to wipe his eyes. He had relived that incident time and time again – woken up from so many nightmares about it and yet, in all the years that had passed, the only alternative he could think of was to explain it to her at the time; give her a chance to confront Morgause and beg her sister to change her mind. If it had been him, he would have happily taken the poison himself – anything to save Arthur and Camelot – but would she have done so back then?

He somehow doubted it. He remembered when he'd asked her to come home from the Druid camp because Uther was to start executing random citizens and she had instantly refused. He had been so disappointed when she had decided that, and so how could he take the chance that she would take his side over Morgause? Why would she even believe him?

No, if he wanted her to trust him, he needed to _gain_ that trust and that meant he had to help her when she'd asked him the very first time.

~o~0~o~

There was a flash of light and colour and Merlin abruptly found himself in Gaius' chambers. As the room spun violently, he put his hands on the large table in front of him for support and breathed in the familiar strong scent of warm wax; indicating that he was blowing out the candles ready for bed. He lifted an arm to observe a ridiculously skinny wrist, only partially covered by a tatty dark red shirt, and ran his hand through a shorter hair style than he currently wore. No sooner had these observations confirmed that he was definitely back in the past, the main door flew open and Morgana entered, her face pale and her eyes wide, wearing a beautiful white and gold nightdress.

"Is Gaius here?" she asked breathlessly.

"Ah no, not at the moment," Merlin replied, desperately trying to put himself back into this time frame.

"I need to speak to him, where is he?" She came closer; her skin was porcelain white, her hair blacker than the night sky. Merlin swallowed hard. Why did she have to be so beautiful? All of this would be so much easier if she weren't so beautiful.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon, can I help?" She opened her mouth as if to speak and then quickly turned away. "You can trust me Morgana, you _know_ you can." It was all starting to come back to him. Now, how could he change the past? What could he say to her that would make the difference?

"I'm scared, Merlin, I don't understand anything any more. I need to know what's happening." She paused, her lips trembling. "Please." This last word was practically a whisper.

He took a deep breath. Ready to change history. "What is it you're scared of?"

"The fire in my room I … think..." She moved a little closer as she had before but, this time, he didn't back away. "It's magic."

He moved slightly closer. "You don't have to be scared. We can get through this together."

"You think it's magic too," she said accusingly.

"It's alright, I won't tell anyone." She shook her head and started to back away, but Merlin moved quickly forward and took hold of her hands. Her surprise at this move seemed to briefly overcome her fear and she stared at him curiously.

"Merlin?"

He took a deep breath. "I have magic too," he confessed.

She shook her head again. "No, no, I don't believe you. You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Morgana … look." He indicated the candle to his right, still smoking slightly, whispered _'Forbærnan'_ and focused.

As it reignited Morgana gasped, pulling her hands roughly out of his. "No..." It was a mere whisper.

"I'll look after you, help you. We'll keep each other's secret … look out for one another."

Still shaking her head, she turned and walked out of the door, her shoes clicking on the stone floor, the locks of her dark hair swinging.

"Morgana … Morgana wait."

Merlin ran out of the door after her, confused. Was there any chance he could have made things worse? Would she give his secret away to Uther? He somehow doubted it. She had never told anyone at Camelot about the Hemlock the first time around and she'd had plenty of reason and opportunity to do so. She must have known that Uther would never believe a servant over his beloved Ward.

"Please will you talk to me? Let me help you?" he asked as he caught up with her.

She nodded but kept walking, heading determinedly towards her room. "How can you live with yourself, Merlin?" she whispered. "Knowing what you are?"

He frowned at this, trying not to let his offence show; remembering that he too had once felt like a monster for having his gift. And so, he started to talk, telling her all about himself, his magic and his destiny.

They spent all night talking in her chambers and it was only as it got close to dawn that Merlin realised he'd better go before Gwen came in to attend her mistress. He smiled at that – briefly amused by his knowledge of the future but, as he made to leave, Morgana came forwards, stood on her tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek. Despite everything, Merlin felt his face redden at the touch and the intense look she gave him as she pulled away.

"Ah..."

"Come here again tomorrow night," she urged.

"We will probably need to catch up on our sleep," he replied.

"Probably." She grinned again. "I think this bed is big enough for two, don't you?"

"Morgana!"

~o~0~o~

Despite his shock at her proposition, Merlin couldn't help but smile as he left. He felt exhausted now; what with all this time travel and having had no sleep in … however long it was now. He was just trying to decide what to do next when a familiar voice boomed deep within his mind.

"_Merlin!"_

The warlock blinked, surprised, before remembering where the dragon was at this point in time and hurrying downstairs to the large caverns underneath Camelot. The enormous creature was waiting for him as he entered, perched on his usual rock.

"What have you done?" the dragon demanded.

"Ah, me?" Merlin replied, giving Kilgharrah an innocent look.

"Do not try to fool me, young Warlock, although... you are not quite as young as you appear, are you?" Trust him to try and mess everything up again.

"I made a mistake the first time around, Kilgharrah. I should never have listened to you or to Gaius."

"Well, your use of my name proves my suspicions. You must have acquired very great power indeed if you're able to travel back in time."

"I shall save Morgana and I shall save Arthur."

"You will not. You believe you have changed everything, Merlin, but that is not the case. When you return to your time, everything will be exactly the same as before."

"What? That's not possible. How?"

"There are certain things that must happen. Whatever you do, whatever you try, these events _must_ occur and there are forces in work here that will ensure, one way or another, that the future is put back on track."

"But Arthur will die in nine years time and it's all my fault. I have to change the past so that he lives."

"Arthur is the Once and Future King - I know I have told you this before," the dragon said impatiently. "Why is that so hard for you to understand."

"Perhaps because you constantly talk in riddles," Merlin shouted back.

"You could make it all easier by simply visiting the witch and casting the spell that will make her forget about your magic," Kilgharrah said.

"I won't and you have no power to stop me."

"And you have none over me."

"Not yet!" Merlin threatened. Kilgharrah pulled his head back and tipped it slightly, his mouth turning up into his version of a smile.

"Interesting," he replied. "But any power you might have over me in the future will not work now." He moved his head closer again. "Will you put this future back on the right track?"

Merlin folded his arms. "No. I cannot believe you."

There was a long silence. "Very well. In this Palace there is a crystal. Do you know of it in your time?"

"The Crystal of Neahtid? Yes."

"And you know how to use it?"

Merlin scoffed. "Of course."

"Then use it. Observe the time-line you have created. See what happens now that you and the witch are friends. See what is to play out during the next nine years and how little has actually changed."

~o~0~o~

The story Merlin observed certainly started out very different to his own memory of that time. A guard would see him visiting Morgana's chambers the following night and report it to Uther. Merlin would then be thrown in jail by a furious Arthur whilst Morgana, quite typically, would rant at the king saying Merlin was the only true friend she had, the only one that understood exactly _what_ she was. And then, in her rage, her powers would get away from her and the wall hangings in the Hall would be set alight right in front of Uther's eyes.

The king would not kill her, of course, despite everything she had feared. Instead she was put under house arrest and it was Merlin who was given an appointment with the pyre instead – simply for having been seen with Morgana in her chambers. He would escape and then use many different means to hover around Camelot and prevent Arthur from dying before his time, only able to return properly once Uther was dead.

Being under house arrest for all those years meant that Morgana's hatred for those around her solidified far earlier than before. She assumed that Merlin had left Camelot without her and fumed at both him and Arthur for not doing more to save her from her prison. When Morgause eventually freed her, she was much as she had been during Merlin's own time-line. She kept his secret, mostly because she did not know the role he was quietly playing during those years, and so, once Merlin had pushed the visions forward to the weeks leading up to Camlann, he was unable to see any differences in the time line at all.

"There must be some way around it," he called out to Kilgharrah as he came back down to the cavern. "Now I know what is to happen I shall just stay away from Morgana tonight."

"And then she will seek you out and the result will be the same."

"Or, if I go back to my time, or just hide somewhere so she can't find me?"

"Then it will happen tomorrow or the next day. You are connected to Morgana much as you are to Arthur. One way or another you will be drawn to each other and, in this time, at your age, with the knowledge of all you share, the pair of you will have no power to resist."

"But, there must be some way to keep her on our side?"

"There is not. She is a slave to Destiny, Merlin, as are most of the people you know and love. Their paths are set in stone. They can wander away from the road for a short time but, eventually, they will be drawn back."

"So, what's the point? What is the point of all this power I have?"

"To place their steps on the path and to guide them back on when they become lost. You believe you are Destiny's slave? That is not true. You are Destiny incarnate.

"You are Emrys."

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** This idea was originally the second and final chapter of my first fanfiction 'The Stone of Time', although this one required a lot more editing than the Mordred chapter, mostly because I'd originally chickened out from explaining the alternative time line the first time around._

_But that final destiny bit is practically unchanged since I first wrote it in December 2010. I'm quite proud of that._

_Next, we're back in Camelot and time has moved on a little. I'm looking forward to sharing my various head canons about Merlin's future life from this point on._

_20/10/13_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

**Camelot: Eight Years after Camlann**

"Merlin, have you forgotten again?"

"Forgotten what, Percival?" Camelot's Court Sorcerer looked up from his desk in the physician's chambers, and squinted at the large knight who was hovering at the door with an exasperated expression on his face.

"Queen Annis' party is due to arrive tomorrow and _our_ queen wants a final meeting with you this afternoon."

"Oh, is that today?"

"Yes, Merlin, it's today." Percival raised his eyes to the ceiling. "And Gwen has ordered me to pick you up and carry you down if you won't come willingly."

Merlin glared at his friend's gleeful expression. "Don't do that, Percival. We wouldn't want you to hurt your back at your advanced age."

"Hey, I'm not yet forty, and I assure you that I can still throw your skinny arse over my shoulder any day of the week."

"Promises, promises," Merlin countered, with a grin, getting to his feet and looking around the room as he scratched his short beard. "Now, where did I put those papers?"

"No excuses and no delays, she said."

"Yes, but..."

"Can't you just… You know?" Percival waved a hand vaguely in the air with a soft smile, attempting to imitate a magic spell.

Merlin grunted in dismay. "No respect," he mumbled, worrying how much he was beginning to sound like Dragoon. That was one disguise he had managed to keep a secret from the queen and he was hoping it would stay that way. At least he had no grey hairs yet, although he did appear to be ageing – albeit a little slower than those around him.

He now knew the true meaning of the name 'Emrys' and that knowledge, along with all those cryptic comments from various people in the past, had made Merlin especially nervous about what he would say if he continued to look thirty indefinitely. As it was, he could put his relatively youthful looks down to his magic, as it was well known that sorcerers tended to age slower than the general population – even though most of them were definitely mortal.

Merlin was still not prepared to take the chance that his 'immortal' title was fact quite yet; although, looking back, he had appeared to have recovered from a number of illnesses and injuries that should probably have killed him – magic or not. He supposed that only time would tell for certain.

~o~0~o~

"Hello, Gwen," the warlock said casually, as he strode into the queen's chambers and sat at her desk without invitation. He _usually_ remembered to act formally around her in public, but eight years of being her advisor and almost twenty years of being her personal friend had taken it's toll. Never mind the fact that their relationship was rather closer than the typical monarch and advisor; and even changing regularly into Freo had been unable to prevent some of the gossip spreading in that regard.

"Ah, Merlin," she said, coming over to join him. "Did you managed to arrive here all by yourself, or did you need to be carried?"

"Yes, very funny, Gwen. I'm now Camelot's physician, Queen's personal advisor _and_ Court Sorcerer. I am a bit busy, you know?"

"Your life is a breeze compared to those early days with Arthur and you know it," she countered.

"Well perhaps," he replied with a small smile. "Being able to use magic openly is definitely a help."

"Of course, but now to business. Is there anything else that we need to discuss about tomorrow's visit? Anything further that you've been able to glean about Annis' reasons for coming here?"

"I don't think there's anything to worry about, Gwen. I just think she's coming to discuss our alliance and its future."

"She's an elderly woman now, Merlin and flatly refused my offer to visit her. There must be something more going on here."

"I don't think so, honestly. I just think she wants to get to see Camelot for herself. That's the impression I got, anyway."

She sighed. "I'm sure you're right. Well then, come have supper with me whilst we discuss the final arrangements."

"Oh!" His eyes went wide as he saw all the food on the tray. "That looks good."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "You've been forgetting to eat again, haven't you, Merlin?"

"Ah, me? No, of course not." He gave her a bright smile.

"I don't believe you. You were skinny enough when Gaius cooked for you, but now...?"

"What?" Merlin said looking down at himself. "I'm not that bad."

"Looks like I'm going to have to start inviting you back up to supper a little more often then," Gwen finished, obviously not at all convinced.

~o~0~o~

Queen Annis' party arrived in the cobbled courtyard and were greeted by all of Camelot's most important citizens. Despite Gwen's concerns, the other queen looked much the same as Merlin remembered her, smiling broadly at them all as she introduced her eldest son and her grandson; a young lad of about nine.

"My son and heir Prince Cerwyn and his son Magon," Annis announced.

"It is a pleasure and a great honour to have you here," Guinevere replied. "These are my Queen's knights, Sir Leon and Sir Percival, and my personal advisor Lord Merlin."

Annis took a long, hard look at the tall slim man in front of her before suddenly throwing her head back and laughing loudly. "So _you're_ the one I've been hearing so much about lately? I did suspect that you were rather more than the fool you had us all believe when we met before."

"Ah, but are not all men fools when faced by such a queen as you?" Merlin replied without a pause.

Gwen exchanged a look of disbelief with Percival whilst Annis' smile grew even larger than before.

"And a charmer to boot, it seems. I think I shall enjoy getting to know you better, Lord Merlin."

"Let us go inside," Gwen said with a smile of her own. "The journey must have tired you."

"Thank you. I admit that a comfy seat and some food would not go amiss right now."

"And some drink, I would hope," Prince Cerwyn added with a large smile of his own.

~o~0~o~

Annis was a delightful guest and the visit was one of the most relaxed that Merlin had ever witnessed in all his years at Camelot.

The sorcerer attended every meeting, during which their alliance was discussed in great detail, along with the news of those from the north and east that could pose a threat to the peace of their alliance in years to come. Then, near the end of her visit, Annis requested a more intimate meeting with just herself, Cerwyn, Gwen and Merlin.

"We are pleased to be friends and allies of such a great power, Guinevere," Annis begun. "Now that you have gained the lands of many of your old neighbours through old wars or new treaties, your fame spreads, but that means that there are many who look to this area with interest and envy."

"There are none that would dare attack now they know of the true power that Camelot wields," Gwen replied confidently.

Annis turned her attention to Merlin again. "Yes, that news has also reached our ears, although many from the outside would not believe such tales. Juggling is not your only talent then, Merlin?"

He smiled slightly. "Indeed not."

"So, I agree that we all have little to worry about whilst you are queen of your extended Camelot but, what of the future?"

"The future?"

"Camelot has no heirs."

Gwen's expression hardened slightly."No, unfortunately my husband and I were not so blessed."

"Oh, I mean no offence to your dear Arthur or to yourself. Only that, with eight years having passed and you still of child bearing age, it may be time to consider taking a second husband."

Gwen looked horrified. "I could not consider it. I would much prefer us to follow through with the other type of security we were discussing this week. I am more than happy to bequeath Camelot to any of your family members that you believe are fit to hold it. The proposed marriage alliance between your grandson and Leon's daughter, for example? As the highest ranked Lord of Camelot, and my very dear friend, it is only fitting that his blood continues to reign here after my death."

"Of course, I believe that is already agreed on?" She turned to her son who nodded firmly.

"Yes, Leon's is a noble man, as is his blood line. His daughter, although still very young, seems healthy and of good character already." Cerwyn nodded again. "It is a most suitable match and I'm certain Rozenn will make a good future queen for Caerleon."

"Gwen, I understand how you feel," Annis continued. "I did not wish to remarry after the death of my husband either but, if I had been younger, if I had no heirs already, then I would have done so for my kingdom. Of course, I'm aware that there's no guarantee of an heir even if you _do_ remarry but, I urge you to reconsider before we finalise these arrangements for our countrywide alliance."

Gwen sighed. "I understand what you are saying, Annis and I agree with it to a certain extent but, to be honest, there is no man here that I could consider as a suitable husband. I have only ever loved two men in my life and both are now dead."

"Only two? Surely there is another?"

"Another?"

The queen winced. "Oh dear, I am afraid that I'm in danger of ruining all our years of friendship in this one meeting but, since being here, I have been listening and watching carefully and had learnt quite enough to be quite certain of this suggestion. Surely it would make perfect sense for you to marry Merlin."

"What!" The pair were instantly on their feet, whilst Annis and Cerwyn exchanged confused looks at their extreme reaction.

"Why so shocked? I have observed in the last week what everyone else believes to be true. You have been friends for twenty years and spend a great deal of time in each other's company since Camlann. Your attachment to each other is obvious to even the most casual of observers and, even if what I'm seeing is simply friendship and not love, well, what better start could a marriage have? Are we not arranging a union between a four and nine year old who may not choose each other under normal circumstances? My own marriage was totally arranged – my husband practically a stranger on my wedding night."

"Yes, but..." Gwen stared wide eyed at Merlin who knew his face was burning red.

"And a sorcerer too," Annis continued. "Surely you have other options to you to help assure success. Magical cures if indeed the queen does suffer from any physical malady?"

"That probably isn't a good idea," Merlin said, eventually managing to find his voice. "It did not work well for Uther, certainly."

"But you are a physician as well as a sorcerer," Cerwyn pushed. "Surely you have other options at your disposal."

Merlin had no answer to that because he knew, deep down, that it was probably true. If Arthur had come to him for advice, he was fairly confident that he _could_ have used magic to help his friends conceive without resorting to that whole 'life for a life' fiasco.

But, Annis was not talking about helping Arthur father a child, she was talking about _him_ doing so.

"Merlin and I are the best of friends, it's true," Gwen said, "But that is the reason why I feel it would not work for us. The whole idea seems … very odd."

"Think about it, at least," Annis continued. "Merlin has gained the respect of Camelot and her allies. He is no longer a servant and has never been a fool, as we now all know. He will be accepted as Queen's Consort if that is you what you wish."

Merlin, like Gwen, was happy to dismiss this idea out of hand, but he could not help but remember what he'd been told eight years ago; the only reason he'd agreed to return here at all. He was the guardian of Camelot. _Camelot_ as opposed to Arthur, or the queen, or even himself. All the time he'd been working on this plan with Gwen, deciding who would take care of the kingdom after her reign, and not once had this option ever crossed their minds. Surely that wasn't what he had to do to ensure the future, was it? How could he find out for certain.

The Crystal Cave was closed to him for the time being - Taliesin had made that abundantly clear - but there was, of course, one other crystal Merlin could consult. After the meeting, Merlin made his way downstairs and collected the Crystal of Neahtid, bringing it back up to his chambers and quickly looking into its depths to find the answer; confident he was not abusing his promise and only doing this for the sake of Camelot, not his own selfishness.

Who would inherit Camelot in the years to come? His child or Leon's? He looked deep within the crystal and willed the visions forward – attempting to see the future.

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** I've enjoyed researching and setting this story up ready for future 'books'. More of this time-line to come and I promise that you will soon get the final piece of the puzzle regarding the Crystal Cave._

_23/10/13_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**Crystal Cave: Two days after Arthur's death**

So, it seemed that Balinor had been correct. Despite his very great skill and newly acquired power of time travel, Arthur's fate was sealed and Merlin would be unable to change the past.

He had no idea how long he stayed there – head in his hands, fighting despair – until he realised what an idiot he had been, how he now had this amazing gift within his grasp and had failed to appreciated the true benefits of such a power.

He did not have to suffer. He did not have to live without Arthur at all. He could simply go back.

Go back to the beginning and live it all again.

Merlin threw his head back and laughed wildly, suddenly delighted and excited about this latest idea. Jumping quickly to his feet, he moved back towards the master crystal and held his hand out; pausing for only a few moment as he considered exactly when he would travel back to.

Not that there was any doubt about that, of course. He would go back as far as possible. Right back to the very beginning.

He chanted the words, his eyes flashed, the crystal flared and the next thing knew he was walking down a well worn track, pack upon his back, heading towards the familiar and beautiful towers of Camelot.

~o~0~o~

**Two weeks after L'Morte de Arthur**

"We should go out," Merlin suggested brightly as Arthur sat looking forlornly out of the window. The warlock had been happily reliving his old life for about a year now. Not attempting to change anything significant, simply making tiny adjustments here and there in order to enjoy the experience even more the second time around.

"What are you talking about, Merlin?" The prince complained. "I can't go anywhere today, I have to get these figures sorted for Father."

"I can take a look at that, if you like?" his servant replied. "Why don't you ask Morgana if she and Gwen are free to go on a picnic this afternoon? It's a shame to waste such a beautiful day stuck indoors, don't you think?"

"Picnic?" Arthur looked longingly out of the window again, the sunshine tempting him to comply. "But this is really important and..."

Merlin scoffed loudly. The paper wasn't at all important – especially seen from his rather unique perspective. Anyway, the whole point of him coming back here was for him to _enjoy_ spending time with Arthur – not wasting his time with chores whilst the prince worked on mundane paper work. This latest idea was even better, Merlin thought. Giving him a rare chance to spend time with _all_ of his friends – before everything turned sour once more.

"Let me look," he urged moving over to the Prince's desk.

"What would you know about it, Merlin?"

"Just trust me, Arthur. You go and ask Morgana about that picnic. I can't imagine she'd turn down the offer of a ride out in the sunshine."

The prince stared at his servant suspiciously for a long time, before eventually standing up, pushing the paper roughly at Merlin, and striding out of the door. "I shall blame you if I get into trouble with Father over this," he called back over his shoulder as he left. "I do hope you realise that."

"Oh, do you mean I'll be able to see the stocks again?" Merlin replied sarcastically. "How I've missed them these last few weeks."

He looked at the paper more closely and scoffed again. He'd half expected to need to use magic to help complete this task quickly but it was so easy there wasn't any need. All those times Arthur used to make out how hard he had to work on the various administrative tasks the king had set him. Merlin should have known that he had been exaggerating.

With a laugh, he picked up a quill and started to scribble.

"She's agreed," Arthur said as he came back in shortly afterwards. Then he noticed Merlin sitting at his desk and frowned. "I hope you're not messing that up."

"No," Merlin replied, pushing the paper towards the prince. "All done." He got up and smiled broadly at Arthur's disbelieving look. "I'll just go down to the kitchens and ask Audrey for some food and drink to take out with us, shall I?"

"I do wish you wouldn't keep making all these decisions for me, Merlin. I am the prince, after all. I'm the one who's supposed to be giving the orders."

Merlin grinned broadly. "Whatever you say, Sire, but you'll be thanking me soon enough, you'll see."

~o~0~o~

It was one of the most enjoyable afternoons Merlin could ever remember spending in Camelot – either time around. The weather was perfect, as was the company. Arthur was relaxed and enjoying the food and the sunshine, and Morgana always had seemed happier when she was away from the city and from Uther. She was still some months away from discovering the full extent of her latent powers at this time and Merlin was enjoying being in her company once again – now without the added pressure of having to worry about changing the future.

Gwen joined him in the serving duties initially that afternoon but, after a while, Arthur and Morgana relaxed enough to allow their servants to eat and drink with them - all four sitting down together with the barrier between servants and masters temporarily suspended.

Merlin found it especially interesting observing Arthur and Gwen that afternoon. This was some time before he'd first noticed the prince's feelings for the serving girl and, on the surface, there seemed to be little but polite conversation going on between the pair, although it was interesting to note just how much time they _did_ spend talking to each other, whilst Morgana seemed to be focusing on him rather more than he'd expected. He briefly remembered his previous trip to a time just a few months hence, and Kilgharrah's comments about Merlin being drawn to her in much the same way as he was to Arthur. Merlin nodded; clinically acknowledging the strong, positive feelings he had for Morgana back then, without letting those emotions especially affect him one way or another.

So he relaxed and simply played his part in this very slightly changed version of his life and enjoyed soaking up the new memories – savouring them.

"This was a lovely idea of yours, Arthur," Morgana said as the four lay on rugs after their food, watching the light clouds skit across an unusually blue sky.

"Yes, yes, it was," the prince replied, whilst Merlin turned to Gwen and rolled his eyes. Typical of Arthur to pretend he had initiated this afternoon. "And what a lovely day for a ride out and a chance to eat such delicious food."

"Yes, and I'm especially enjoying the company," Morgana continued with a smile. "Well, I'm enjoying Merlin and Gwen's company anyway."

"Ha!" Arthur responded. "Guinevere I can imagine but Merlin...?" The prince turned his head to frown at his servant. "What's the matter with you, anyway? You have been exceptionally quiet recently."

Merlin grinned back, giving a casual shrug although, thinking about it, he hadn't been answering back or bantering with Arthur as much as he usually did; simply enjoying the prince's quiet company more often than not. He supposed that he should do something about that and go back to playing his usual role. That was half the fun of their friendship, after all.

"Problem is, it's hard to get a word in edgeways with you sometimes, Sire," he countered quickly, grinning at Gwen as she attempted to hide a giggle at his comment.

"He certainly has a point there," Morgana replied with a smirk.

"Such ingratitude," Arthur complained.

"Yes, and _whose_ idea was it to come out this afternoon?" Merlin asked.

"Yours I think," Gwen replied with a smile.

"Yup!"

"Keep this up, Merlin and you'll get _twice_ your normal chores tomorrow."

"Children, please!" Morgana interrupted.

It was all perfect, Merlin decided. The four of them here together, just being friends. The way it should have been. There was no reason why he ever need return.

But then, just as he had that thought, Merlin found himself abruptly back in the Crystal Cave and there, standing over him, was the slightly ghostly form of Taliesin, looking just as bemused as he had the last time they had met.

~o~0~o~

"No! Why did you have to interfere?" Merlin shouted at the man. "Let me go back. Please."

"Why?" Taliesin asked.

"I can't stay here. I don't _want_ to be here without him."

"Do you honestly think this is all about you and your feelings, Emrys?" the old seer scolded. "Are you truly that selfish?"

"Selfish? Me? How can you say that, Taliesin? Is there truly anyone in Camelot who has sacrificed more than I have?"

"There are many who have."

Merlin blinked at the old man, surprised. He had certainly not expected that reply.

"Yes, you have lost people you love and will lose many more in the years to come, but you are most certainly not alone in these experiences. We are creatures of magic, you and I, Emrys, as are a great many others whose fate it has been to abandon or delay their mortality in order to serve the greater destiny."

"Which is what, exactly?" Merlin asked, still scowling.

"This is not all about you, Emrys, and it not purely about Arthur either. You are both but tools that Destiny has selected to do her bidding."

"Well, I'm fed up with her and with everyone else who has decided they know best and have engineered my life against my will."

"You doubt Destiny's purpose, Emrys? You believe that she wills all this out of cruelty? You are indeed still a child then if you think that cruelty is the reason your parent takes away your comforter when you are no longer a baby, or tells you not to swim in a deep water lake, or insists you learn your letters and numbers when you'd rather play with friends."

Merlin looked at him suspiciously. "Why then? Why put me through that?" He gave a humourless laugh. "I suppose you're going to tell me that it's all for my own good?"

"It is all for the future of this land," Taliesin answered unemotionally. "This cave is here to protect this small area in the short term and in the future... the whole world. It was created for that purpose and you were given the skills to use it – to become my successor if you will." His voice turned stern again. "But you were given the keys to this place to be its guardian, not to use it to play games and to sulk when you don't get your own way."

"I am not … sulking."

"Really?" Taliesin gave Merlin a hard look and the younger man had the grace to look a little sheepish.

"I miss him, I … loved him." He was surprised at how hard that was for him to admit to.

"Of course you did. If you did not care than you would not be human and that you still are, despite everything else."

"And so?"

"So, this is all for this land – for Camelot as it is now and for what it will be in the future."

Merlin considered that for a moment. "_That's_ what Kilgharrah meant when he said I had fulfilled my destiny? When he said I hadn't failed?"

Taliesin frowned. "Why would you think you had failed? If you had not kept Arthur safe for as long as you had, then this land would already be on the road to ruin. You have seen this already, have you not? You already had a hint of what could happen when you tried to befriend Morgana."

"Yes, but..."

"You are still very young, Emrys and do not fully understand the importance of this place or your role as its guardian. In time though, you shall."

"So, what are you saying? What is it that I should do now?"

"You must go home."

"Home?" Merlin frowned. "To Ealdor or Camelot?"

Taliesin smiled knowingly. "That is the question, isn't it, Emrys but, think on this. If your destiny is to protect Albion then there is realistically only one answer to that question."

"Camelot," Merlin said with a sigh, holding his head in his hands, despair again starting to consume him.

"All is not lost, remember that," Taliesin said, his voice sounding far more sympathetic now. "Have you already forgotten what Lochru told you?"

"Lochru?"

"The never-ending circle of his fate," Taliesin quoted and Merlin blinked, quite certain that his guide was now becoming fainter.

"The old man at the camp Morgana attacked. Yes but … what does it mean?"

"For he will always appear when Albion has need of him and you will always be there to guide him."

"What? I don't understand."

"One last word of warning, Emrys. Do not attempt to return to this place unless you are determined to take your destiny to Albion seriously."

"What do you mean?"

"Even you will be unable to find your way here again if you intend to abuse your power for your own selfish desires."

"But I can return some day?"

"Yes, you _must. _You must return here once you have discovered the Ultimate Truth."

"I'm sorry, I still don't understand."

"No and it will be many years before you do. For the Ultimate Truth is hidden from all those who live a mortal life and always must be. Until that discovery, give your life over to Camelot as if it were Arthur personified. Ensure the safety of everything and everyone he held dear and, more importantly, ensure that this land remains safe, even after the original circle has been closed.

"What do you mean by the original circle?" Merlin asked as the image of Taliesin begun to fade more rapidly.

"The stone circle of nine."

"I still don't understand."

Taliesin shook his head as he disappeared. "My job here is done, Emrys. This care and the fate of Albion in now truly in your hands."

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** And then Merlin goes back to Camelot to see Gaius and Gwen. Now you can see why he was so distracted and confused back then. :D _

_27/10/13_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

**Camelot: Thirty-Five years after Camlann**

"Where has the time gone?" Gwen asked with a sigh. "It seems like only yesterday that we were welcoming Annis here as queen."

"And now we're welcoming her grandson as king." Merlin shook his head in disbelief. "I just can't believe that King Cerwyn died so young.

"And of an illness, not in battle. That was indeed a surprise," Leon agreed. "I still find it hard to accept that my little Rozenn is now a queen."

"Hardly little," Merlin retorted with a smile. "She's a grown woman now, with a second child on the way."

"Don't remind me."

"Don't pretend to be upset, Leon," Gwen continued as Merlin laughed at his friend's expression. "I know you're excited to meet your grandson for the first time."

The knight's eyes lit up at her words. "I am. Six years old he will be now. I do hope they consider him old enough to make the journey."

"I believe they wanted him to come along on this trip, seeing he's likely to be the king of Camelot too, one day," Gwen said. "Talking of which, we need to make sure all of this paper work is in order for King Magon's visit."

"Yes," Merlin agreed, looking down at the parchment in front of him. "Well, I think we're all agreed that our shared lands are to be merged during the next couple of decades and that the only realistic way for one person to rule over such a large area will be to divide it up into administrative centres."

"Yes," Percival said. "We start to install trusted Lords in each of the ancient, smaller kingdoms and then it'll ultimately be up to Magon or his son to decide where his centre or centres of power will lie."

"What about you, Merlin?" Gwen asked.

"Me?"

"You have your own land now. What are your plans for it? It officially falls within this new, larger territory now – Albion, we're calling it?"

"Yes." Merlin gave a humourless laugh as he remembered all those old prophecies about the territory. It certainly wasn't what he'd originally expected it to be, but he had worked hard to help it become a reality in recent years. "The only reason I accepted that land was because it contains the Valley of the Fallen Kings which is very much the centre of magic. I certainly want to ensure that it remains protected – indefinitely – whoever rules over Albion in the future."

"How though?" Leon asked. "How can you ensure it's protected? None of us are getting any younger and you have no heirs to inherit that land."

Merlin sighed heavily, not really wanting to get into the whole immortal conversation at this point in time. He decided to attempt to skirt around the issue for as long as he was able.

"In the short term I'll make sure I keep good relations with the king or lord of the area," he replied. "If necessary I'll put some magic defences up to protect it."

"How long would that last though?" Percival asked.

"Does it not protect itself?" Leon continued.

"Merlin, what are you not telling us?" Gwen, of course, could see right through his evasions.

"I can keep it safe one way or another, don't you worry," he replied, "However, the most important thing here is that we ensure that the whole of Albion is governed by a good and strong king. From what I saw on that last visit, Magon is such a man. I would have no fear for the future of the valley with him in charge."

~o~0~o~

Merlin stood with Gwen, Leon and Percival as the four old friends welcomed the royal party to Camelot just as they had all those years before. The visiting kingdom still held to the ancient, local custom of naming its land after its king, although Merlin still tended to think of the area as Caerleon, even after all these years. Annis had not changed it for herself and the area had only briefly been named Cerwyn before her son died of a fever when barely middle aged.

And so now the land was called Magon, in honour of its new, young king and Merlin couldn't help but grin at the stray thought of Camelot being named 'Arthur' if their territory had stuck to the same ancient tradition. Probably not a good idea - his old friend had been quite arrogant enough as it was.

The king and queen of Magon did indeed seem very young looking as they approached the stairs, holding the hand of a small boy with light brown hair that constantly flopped over his eyes. The lad looked up at the crowd on the steps nervously before quickly locking his gaze with Merlin's, tipping his head curiously. The warlock reeled in shock, almost falling over where he stood.

"Merlin, are you alright?" Percival asked, grabbing an arm.

"I … I'm not…" He swallowed hard. "I think I need to sit down."

How could it be true? He _had_ to be imagining it.

Gwen turned and frowned at Merlin; perhaps annoyed, perhaps concerned as her Court Sorcerer sat down on Camelot's steps just as the royal party approached. "Merlin?"

"S-sorry, give me a moment."

Gwen shook her head and nodded firmly at Percival, who grabbed the skinny man's arm and hauled him to his feet. "Stand," he said. "I'll hold you up myself, if necessary."

"Promises, promises," Merlin retorted automatically, whilst his mind still reeled from the implications of what he was seeing and sensing.

"King Magon, Queen Rozenn, welcome to Camelot," Gwen said, before reintroducing those around her.

"It is wonderful to be back," the king said, "I remember how awe-inspiring this place was to me the last time I was here. But I see now that it wasn't my childish memory playing tricks. There really is no castle as magnificent or as beautiful anywhere in the greater area of Albion."

"You will not hear me disagree, of course," Gwen replied with a smile. "Why don't you all come in and have some refreshments?" As they lead their guest up the stairs, Gwen grabbed Merlin's arm roughly. "What was that all about?" she hissed.

"Can't you see it?" he replied. "Don't you recognise him?"

"Who?"

"The young prince."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You met him before, you _knew_ him."

"What are you talking about, Merlin. He's six years old. We've never seen him before."

"No, but … can't you _see_?"

Gwen looked at him curiously, with concerned even, and it was that look that made Merlin stop and think. Made him remember what Taliesin had said to him all those years ago.

"_You must return here once you have discovered the Ultimate Truth."_

"_I don't understand."_

"_No and it will be many years before you do. For the Ultimate Truth is hidden from all those who live a mortal life." _

This was it then, this was what Taliesin had meant. He now understood how Arthur could return in the future. Not _exactly_ Arthur perhaps; but his soul, his spirit - something of him so strong that Merlin would easily be able to sense it, even in a completely different body.

The young prince approached Merlin and tugged at his shirt, looking up at him with wide eyes. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Merlin nodded dumbly, now even more certain of what he was seeing. It was a while before he was able to find his voice.

"I'm fine, Will. It's good to see you."

"Will? My name's Gethin," the little boy replied, confused.

Merlin shook his head. "Yes, sorry, of course, your highness. My mistake." He forced himself to smile. "My name's Merlin."

The little boy nodded seriously, with an expression that was just so like his best friend from years ago that the warlock knew there could be no doubt. Gethin started to follow his parents up the stairs towards Camelot's main entrance, but then stopped, turning back to the sorcerer with a frown.

"Have we met before, Merlin?"

~o~0~o~

Merlin continued to remain distracted throughout the royal visit, seriously tempted to run straight back to the Crystal Cave and see if what Taliesin had once promised was true. However, despite his impatience, he not only had a responsibility to Camelot to attend all the royal meetings, but also wanted to spend as much time as possible in the company of the young prince. Gethin may well be the prince of Magon but he was also Will. Merlin would have found it impossible to describe to anyone but it was the truth to him, nonetheless – as if his old friend was simply wearing someone else's skin. And, the more time he spent in the boy's company, the more obvious it became.

The main work for this special council to discuss was how to divide the shared kingdoms up into convenient administrative areas. This land had now absorbed Cenred's old kingdom along with the territories that had once belonged to King Alined, King Olaf and Lord Godwin. Odin's land to the south and Mercia to the north-east still remained large powers in their own right and this this was the main reasons that it had been decided to merge their kingdoms into one larger land - hopefully ensuring the safety of the whole territory in the years ahead.

Camelot and Magon were now to be twins, Gwen declared. One soul in two bodies.

_Whereas Gethin and Will are two souls in one body. _The thought made Merlin laugh out loud and earned him numerous strange looks as a result.

~o~0~o~

"We have long standing peace treaties with Wessex and Mercia," Merlin said during the last meeting of the royal visit. "But I do believe we should work hard to ensure that loyalty in the years to come. A marriage alliance with either or both would be a sensible move, I think. The current kings there have young children too so it should work well."

"Do we really have to be thinking about this so early?" Rozenn asked. "I mean, I know _our_ marriage was arranged in much the same way, but Magon and I we were lucky enough to be close neighbours and develop feelings for each other anyway. She put a hand on her slightly swollen stomach. "It just seems so odd to be talking about possible marriage alliances when this one hasn't even been born yet.

"I do understand that," Gwen said. "Arthur was against arranged marriages himself, of course, but the world is a different place now and Mercia is becoming especially powerful."

"Then there are the Saxons, news of raids from the far north and the Welsh on your western border," Merlin continued. As long as we continue to have good relations with Mercia and Wessex, all will be well, but I honestly don't think our joint land will be able to survive if we ever made enemies of them."

"You are right, of course, Merlin," Magon agreed with a sigh. "I will send messages to both kings immediately. In the mean time, tell me which lords you are expecting to hold this various parcels of land in future years. We should arrange a meeting with all of them back in Magon at your earliest convenience."

~o~0~o~

As soon as the party left, Merlin threw a few items into a bag, gave Gwen some excuse about needed to check up on his land after these recent discussions, and then rode as quickly as possible to the Crystal Cave. His impatience made him seriously contemplate using the transportation spell that he'd discovered some years ago, but it seemed that, despite his very great power, the experience made him feel exceptionally travel sick. He knew he could move himself and perhaps one other person that way in a dire emergency but it wasn't something he was willing to experience again if he had other options open to him.

Of course, he had tried to enter the cave before today. As it now fell into his own, personal land he was obviously going to visit it at some point - but it seemed that what Taliesin had said was true. Despite knowing the area intimately, Merlin had been quite unable to find the cave on his last few visits. He would come to the clearing nearby - the one he had once unsuccessfully tried to heal Arthur in all those years ago - and head forwards, only to find himself back in the same clearing again, as if he'd walked in a circle.

Today was different though. Today he walked in a confident, straight line and quickly found himself at the entrance and shortly afterwards within the cave's beautiful, blue heart.

"I'm back," he announced loudly, moving towards the king crystal and instantly holding his hand out in front of it. "I'd ask to see where and when Arthur will be reborn but, I remember what you said about selfishness, Taliesin, and have learnt my lesson and so... Let's check this latest Twin Treaty, shall we? Let's see what alliances we may need to make to ensure our new land's peace and prosperity."

~o~0~o~

* * *

_**A/N:** I had quite a bit of fun with maps and history books setting all of this up for the future instalments - trying to get the fantasy map of 'Merlin' to tie in with the real map. That's now done and there is quite a bit of setting up for the next book here too._

_30/10/13_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**Camelot: Fifty Years after Camlann**

Merlin held Gwen's hand as he sat by the elderly queen's bedside, tears cascading down his face.

"Not again," he choked. "I can't bear to loose you too."

"My dear Merlin," she replied. "You knew this time would come."

"That doesn't make it any easier. You are the last. I have no-one left now."

"That isn't true. You have new family here now. You know how much young Prince Gethin looks up to you and I'm quite certain he'll value your advice as much as I have." She looked up at him and shook her head with a fond smile. "You still look so young."

"Hardly young."

"Not a day over sixty." She smiled weakly. "Seriously, how have you stayed looking so youthful? You must be at least eighty by now."

Merlin laughed, despite himself. He now really _was_ Dragoon. "My magic has helped heal me in many different ways and I think it's likely I'll be around for quite some time yet." It was the closest he'd ever come to telling her the truth. "Rest now, my darling queen."

"I shall." She sighed. "Do you have any knowledge of the other side, Merlin? Do you know if Arthur will be waiting there for me?"

"Any knowledge I have gained has been cryptic and confusing but, I hope so, Gwen, I really do hope that you'll meet him again some day."

~o~0~o~

More tears flowed as Merlin stood in front of the great Pyre in Camelot's square, mourning the death of his queen, his friend, his only true comfort these last fifty years. Surrounding him were all the great and good of Camelot; lord and ladies, knights and commoners and many royal and noble guests from Magon, Mercia, Middle Anglia and Wessex.

As Merlin watched the flames dance towards the sky, other funerals came to his mind; Will and Freya's, the stone cairns covering his father and Morgana and then, suddenly, other faces hammered into his mind with such intensity that he actually staggered before his arm was grabbed firmly by King Magon, now standing to his right.

"Merlin? Do you need to sit down?" Prince Gethin asked kindly from the other side.

He waved the concern away with the flick of a hand, suddenly aware that these were not mere memories but important visions. But what were they trying to tell him?

_Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine, Arthur, Gaius, Percival, Leon, Gwen._

The eight faces appeared again, and again, each time accompanied by other images; the first time he'd met them, the last time he'd seen them alive, their deaths or funerals. Around they went in a circle until one further face joined the group; a tall, skinny young man with dark hair and expressive, blue eyes.

_Lancelot, Elyan, Gwaine, Arthur, Gaius, Percival, Leon, Gwen … Merlin._

Nine? A circle? He paused, trying to make sense of the visions, trying to remember something he'd been told a long, long time ago.

"_Ensure that Camelot remains safe, even after the original circle has been closed."_

"_What circle?"_

"_The Stone Circle of Nine."_

"The original Round Table!" he shouted. "I understand now."

"Merlin?" Queen Rozeen asked, concerned.

"It's just me left now," he replied calmly.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Merlin shook his head. "No, no, that's not what I meant. The circle is now closed. Which means that all I have to do is wait until it opens again." He smiled brightly then, unaware of the confusion he was creating. "I understand now. Will showed me how it started and now I know how it ends. The Once and Future King. I _shall_ see him again. I shall see them _all_ again."

~o~0~o~

The king and queen returned to Magon whilst young William was to take charge of Camelot.

"_Gethin_, you old fool," Merlin chided himself as he rode back towards the Crystal Cave. "The young prince is called _Gethin_ in this life. Ha, Will! What would you have thought if you'd known. That you, who had so despised nobility and royalty, would one day be the ruler of Camelot and all set to marry a young Mercian princess." He chuckled again, making his way confidently to his own territory, to look for the 'gift' Magon said he'd left for the wise old sorcerer there.

"Look at that, Merlin," he cackled. "Poor boy from Ealdor has come good, hasn't he? Now has his own grand house, fit for the lord he has become. It's no Camelot, by any means, but still far more than you deserve, I'd say."

Merlin had fought Gwen and Magon on this for years, having no real intention of leaving Camelot whilst the queen was alive and planning to spend as much of his time in the Crystal Cave afterwards, but they were quite right when they said that a base was needed to control his territory, even though they were talking about installing some lord or other here after his death. Something which apparently was not going to happen any time soon, despite appearances.

So, Merlin had invented a successor – a distant cousin – and said that he'd now leave to manage his estate whilst waiting for the young man to arrive. If Magon or Gethin needed his assistance in the short term he would visit them as himself and endure the usual amazement at his apparent good health. If they asked for him in years to come he'd cast a transformation spell to become young Merlin, and pose as his own relation.

In the meantime he would place special enchantments around his land to ensure that anyone with greedy or violent thoughts would just go around in circles in much the same way as he had when he'd been banned from entering the cave. The few remaining Druids and occasional traveller that wanted to pass through would be more than welcome to do so, but Merlin didn't want anyone settling here permanently either. He'd already seen his birth village of Ealdor abandoned along with many others, whilst new villages had sprung up elsewhere to replace them. He had no intention of having some great city grow up in such a sacred space and so promised himself that he would do what ever was necessary over the years to ensure this place remained isolated for as long as possible.

**The Future**

The years went by and the valley remained peaceful and undisturbed just as Merlin had hoped. The warlock divided his time between his house, the Crystal Cave and the various administrative courts within the area – generally appearing as a middle aged or elderly Lord Emrys who was always well respected and whose advice was regularly sought by any king or lord in trouble.

As time went on the idea of smaller administrative centres became adopted throughout the greater area; younger sons being granted parcels of land, whilst the title of king began to have less and less significance as the years went by. Power shifted, minor wars broke out and the names and pronunciations of words became corrupted. Even worse, the great castle of Camelot became unsafe and the stones started to be taken away for use elsewhere. Progress appeared to go backwards for a while as the numerous large, imposing castles that the sorcerer remembered from his youth were replaced by simpler houses and enclosures, not dissimilar to the one that Merlin still owned.

"I am an old man now," the latest king said to Merlin during one meeting. "But my middle son has just finished building his new house at Cauldron and will continue to administer that, even as my eldest controls Magonsæte."

"Sorry?" Merlin asked blinking at the unfamiliar names. "You mean Camelot and Magon?" The two old men just stared at each other for a long time.

"That is what our land has always been called," the king eventually continued. "Magon's place of ambush, after the sad end that once wise king came to."

"Ah, I see." Merlin tried desperately to work out just how many years had now passed. "But, why Cauldron?"

"Because of the natural dip in the land that the ancient city once occupied. I do seem to remember it being called Cameldron when I was a boy, but it was soon decided that name made no sense and my father corrected that odd spelling as soon as he took over."

"Ah..." It was amazing how quickly things changed. How quickly people forgot. "So, the history of King Arthur and Camelot?" Merlin asked. "You don't believe that Cauldron was that place?"

"No, I believe the Welsh have now claimed that legend. They have a site they believe fits the description very well."

"Ah, I see." There was not a lot else he could say to that.

Mercia's power continued to grow and Merlin attempted to keep track of all the families and the blood lines of Leon and Magon but, despite his best efforts, peace was becoming a rare concept again as constant wars for the numerous small thrones were regularly fought. At least his valley and the cave remained safe – his powerful spells and charms continuing to do their work - keeping all aggressors out of the area.

~o~0~o~

And then, one day, Merlin awoke feeling very odd indeed. He had no idea what was different at first, other than he felt amazing. As he got out of bed, he instantly felt stronger and lighter and was stunned at the speed he was able to move towards the stove. It felt a little like that time, long ago, when he'd travelled back in time and found himself in a younger man's body.

Shocked by that idea, Merlin held out his hands and blinked in surprise on seeing them smooth, strong and unwrinkled. Moving cautiously to the small mirror, he was stunned to see the reflection of a skinny young man with short dark hair staring back at him.

"What's going on? I haven't cast that youth spell for many years now." He coughed on hearing the sound of his voice, now much lighter and higher pitched than he was used to. After clearing his throat several times, he spoke the words that would usually change him back to normal but, nothing happened. After that he took the potion that he needed on the rare occasions his spell didn't work, but still he remained young.

Finally, Merlin cast the ageing spell which instantly had him back to what he considered to be his ordinary, elderly body, only to discover that the 'revert' spell quickly changed him back to a youth.

"What's going on? Why am I like this now? What is different?"

Then that vision hit him again; the image of nine familiar faces around an old stone table in an ancient castle, and finally Merlin understood.

"The circle has opened!" he shouted excitedly. "The first of the Round Table is reborn and the other seven are sure to follow soon." He turned back to the mirror with a huge smile, his blue eyes now bright and excited, his face now much as it was when he'd been in his twenties. "And I have regained my youth to help my task. To help me find Arthur."

~o~0~o~

**End of Book One**

* * *

**Book Two: Master of Time: Advisor of Kings**

_The story of how Merlin discovers all his friends reincarnated and again assists Arthur in his ongoing quest to keep the land of Albion safe for future generations. Much is now different, including Arthur who is not the heir to the throne and is subtly different to the young man Merlin once knew. And yet, the similarities remain and Merlin can again take his rightful place at the centre of The Circle._

"For he will always appear when Albion has need of him and you will always be there to guide him."

Coming soon.

* * *

_**A/N:** Have made a fairly decent start to Book Two but it is quite complex in places and I have a few things that need to be sorted out before I can start sharing it. That quote of Taliesin is important for this larger story as it give me the excuse to come back as many times as I like - to as many points of history as I want. Currently I have a rough idea for Book Three but nothing more at the moment. Luckily I have no other stories to distract me at the moment so this will continue to be my priority. _

_As usual I shall keep my PP up to date with my progress and likely publishing dates. Thank you so much for your continued support on this one. ~ Jaq_

_3/11/13_


End file.
